Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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