Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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