she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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