Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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