apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize