I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We need to rekindle our bromance
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
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I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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