just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize