so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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