when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize