listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize