Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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