i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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