Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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