Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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