Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Randomize
Follow @tfln