He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize