LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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