don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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