dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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