y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my phone needs a breathalizer
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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