ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize