I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Too much gin, very little bucket
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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