Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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