oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
God I need to hump something, right now.
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