Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is that you in the white hat?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Fine suit yourself

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  (248): Is that you in the white hat? (248): Fine suit yourself http://tfl.nu/yncz
  Replies (3) Good night (873) Bad night (1370)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference

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  (847): Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference http://tfl.nu/ny65
  Replies (4) Good night (1318) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.

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  (507): As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September. http://tfl.nu/oogz
  Replies (19) Good night (4568) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

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  (412): Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned? http://tfl.nu/249l
  Replies (32) Good night (570) Bad night (6454) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.

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  (301): you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens. http://tfl.nu/fm3u
  Replies (10) Good night (850) Bad night (3134) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.

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  (508): Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere. http://tfl.nu/v9sm
  Replies (17) Good night (3633) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  she peed on how many people?

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  (619): she peed on how many people? http://tfl.nu/sqm0
  Replies (23) Good night (1854) Bad night (5743) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.

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  (516): i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks. http://tfl.nu/yuy7
  Replies (12) Good night (1568) Bad night (4416) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.

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  (817): I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut. http://tfl.nu/n51l
  Replies (14) Good night (2757) Bad night (1090) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.

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  (519): After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin. http://tfl.nu/r7ve
  Replies (1) Good night (1262) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

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  (919): Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today. http://tfl.nu/hnp2
  Replies (12) Good night (6202) Bad night (551)
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  (760): View more from California

  I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME

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  (760): I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME http://tfl.nu/7g5e
  Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.

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  (207): I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time. http://tfl.nu/5zpy
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.

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  (979): I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels. http://tfl.nu/it3k
  Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes

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  (917): Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes http://tfl.nu/krda
  Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt

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