it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize