I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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