The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize