its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
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He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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