Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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