i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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