Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize