ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize