I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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