Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize