Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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