so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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