If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize