They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
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