the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So squirting runs in the family.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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