I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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