I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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