Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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