You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize