she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize