some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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