its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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