Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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