bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize