We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
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No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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